Survey..

I fancy writing, but have nothing to write, so here is a survey.

1: Have you ever had a haircut so bad you cried?

No, but I did dye my hair pillarbox red and it faded to orange, which looked odd with my colouring.

2: When you open the drawer after having poured yourself a bowl of cereal, do you reach for a small or a large spoon?

Large

3: Have you ever quit a bad job emphatically, ripped off a uniform or apron, thrown the balled-up cloth at a superior, then stomped off?

Yeah. I worked for a week for a travel agent. When it came to the end of the week, he paid me £40 for a weeks work. Ok, this was back when the lowest paid job you could do, working in a bar was about £3 per hour, but it worked out to £1 an hour for the hours that I did. Fuck that.

4: How much cash do you like to carry?

Erm. Sometimes nothing but usually about £10.

5: One large winter coat or layers?

Layers. It's the beauty of being a knitter. *nods*

6: If you cross paths with someone walking a dog, do you talk first to the person or the dog?

If I don't know them, neither. I will smile though. The person, if I do know them.

7: Can you accurately size up the square footage in a room?

Nope!

8: Are you quick with your wit, or do comebacks tend always to arrive hours later?

Not really very quick. Although I did have a very crude, very obscene comeback to some random guy who was shouting random "you're fat" comments at me.

9: Do you keep your photos in albums or shoeboxes?

Albums. And a big envelope.

10: Have you gravitated, traditionally, toward the top or the bottom bunk?

Never slept in a bunk, but bottom, I think.

11: Do you own any pieces of monogrammed attire?

No. I could knit monogrammed socks though, but I have no need for monogrammed socks.

12: When a friend begins telling a story he's already told you, do you let him go, or let him know?

Depends on the story and how many times I'd heard it.

13: When making a shooting-yourself gesture, do you do the gun barrel with two fingers or one? Do you insert the finger-gun into your mouth or press it to your temple?

Two fingers to the temple. Rarely do it though.

14: When driving by cows, do you give in to the urge to moo?

I have baaad back to a sheep once. He baad at me because I shouted mint sauce at him. He was probably telling me to chuff off.

15: Are you accurate at guessing people's weights and ages?

Nope. I bet people on checkouts are pretty good with ages though.

16: Look at your fingernails: did you just stretch out all five fingers, palm out, or did you fold your fingers down over your inward facing palm?

Stretch out.

17.: Do you have a system when it comes to pockets,or do you blindly dump in coins, lighter, i-pod, phone, smokes, etc., then fish around each time?

Yeah, purse on the right coat pocket, iphone on the inner trouser / jeans pocket. Keys in the left jeans pocket, when I smoked - cigs and lighter in the left coat pocket.

18: When eating bananas, do you peel them nude at the outset or peel as you eat?

Raw bananas are vile. As is anything banoffee flavoured. Chewy banana chips are full of win though. Yeah. Weird.

19: What famous landmarks have you found especially disappointing?

I thought Paris was dull. Full of building sites and scaffolding. Landmarks don't really do much for me anyway.

20: Which do you (or would you) find more embarrassing: Crying in public by yourself on a bench or laughing out loud in public by yourself on a bench?

Erm. Neither.

21: Do you measure distance in miles or minutes?

Minutes if on foot, miles by car.

22: Do you imagine sleep as a kind of rising (you are a basket being pulled gently up in a hot air balloon) or as a kind of sinking (you are a flat stone no longer skipping, disappearing through layers of lake)?

Neither, but I view meditation as sinking.

23: How many different bathrooms would you say you use on a given day? Are there bathrooms, (not your own) that you consider a pleasure to use, even look forward to using?

Work and home usually. Toilets are toilets are toilets. Unless we're talking Trainspotting style toilets.

24: What's the strangest non-food item you swallowed as a kid?

I ate mud once. Oh and as an adult, I swallowed the ball from my tongue piercing.

25: How do you show love to what is yours, by wearing it in or attempting to keep it pristine?

Wear it. If it's yarn, stroke it reverentially.